Heather Mews
English 101
Professor: Begert
How I learned to live with a Painful Disability
Most people who don’t know me on a personal level are unaware of the debilitating pain I am faced with daily. I was midway through my work day - when I had to run an extension cord underneath a sleeper sofa - this was part of my usual routine so I didn't think twice when I lifted the sofa, and twisted to reach for the cord - it was then that I realized something didn't feel right. I reported the incident, but continued to work with my injury for several more weeks - due to fear of losing the income that I needed to support my 3 children. Little did I know - these actions would soon lead to what is now a very permanent, and painful disability.
After several years of spinal injections, physical therapy, chiropractic care, laser therapy, and massage therapy - basically every form of treatment that did not involve taking drugs - I came to the decision along with several orthopedic surgeons - that surgery would be my best option. Upon making this decision - I was informed that L&I would require me to attend a very extensive pain rehabilitation program before they would allow me to move forward with the surgery. In my opinion - this seemed to be yet another way for them to avoid taking the necessary steps for my recovery. If they had just done this in the beginning - I would have been well on the road to my recovery, and saved them a lot of money on ineffective treatments. I feel the government wastes enough money as it is. I had spent an ample amount of time preparing myself for the surgery - so I was not happy about this little adventure they were about to send me on.
It was the beginning of December when I got the call "your rehabilitation program will start on December 11th, and you will need to stay here for the duration". Not only did I hate the big city, but I felt they had no regard to the fact that they were making me leave my family over the holidays - my dog whom I felt played a huge role in helping me manage my depression, and the comfort of my own home. When I first arrived in Seattle I was angry, and had already formed an attitude that the program they were requiring me to attend - was going to be no more effective than the other treatments I had received prior. The apartment I was to stay in was cold and drab, impersonal, and there were people camped out on the side of the road with their sleeping bags - leaving me with little comfort - as I was by myself. I missed my family immediately, and I just wanted to give up and go home. Little did I know - that attitude was about to change.
The next morning - I was to meet with the doctors, therapists, etc. First I met with the doctor - she performed several tests - after doing so she gave me the opportunity to ask questions about the program, and my injury - you better believe I had questions, and I can assure you there were many. I had every intent on breaking down this little program of theirs, and exposing it for the scam that it was. I also asked her to explain my injury, and the procedure - this is where the education began. She presented me with an over whelming amount of evidence pertaining to the outcomes of my procedure, and the results were very alarming. I decided it would be a good idea to do some further research on my own. What I found out - supported what she had told me. On average there was only about a 20% chance that a spinal fusion "a metal plate on each side of my spine to secure it" would fix the damage to my spine, and there was a higher risk that it could make me worse in the long run. It would be likely that I would need to have a new fusion to support the next section of my spine, and so on - then by around age of 50 it was possible that I wouldn't be able to walk. It was then that I began to realize "Hmm L&I might actually be looking out for my well being, and not just their pocket books". After learning all of this information - I was still reserved, and not yet willing to make any decisions, but I did have a more open mind.
The next step after meeting with the doctor - was to meet my occupational therapist. They had me perform a series of tasks as I normally would at home - while videotaping my postures. We then went over the film, and she customized a routine that would help me to better compensate for my injury. This routine would be performed twice daily - as it takes 30 days to build a habit, and would hopefully enable me to perform everyday tasks much easier. My occupational therapist then introduced me to Linda, "my physical therapist" she ran me through a bunch of tests to see what my physical abilities were - so she could customize a plan with realistic goals in mind. I realized early on that she was a lot like me - to the point - no bull, but with a good since of humor. I told her not to put up with my stubborn butt, and to push me as hard as she felt appropriate. She did exactly that, but we laughed our way through the whole process. I noticed the impact that the positive energy had on the other patients - so I began to encourage others, and joke around to lighten the atmosphere. Even the staff was having fun. We also dedicated 30 minutes a day to learning different forms of meditation - which helps to relax the muscles, and take the strain off of my spine. I found that I enjoyed Tai-Chi the most. After meeting with my physical therapist it was time to move on to psychology.
I met with a psychiatrist several times, and attended classes daily - that I found to be very informative. I learned that the effect Pain has on your mental well being, and vice versa was quite significant, and when I started to find alternative ways to do the things I love - I began to live again. On my last day - I met with each of my program leads - so they could assess my progress, and report back to L&I. What a difference from their first assessments of me." Dr. Forseit my psychiatrist" Heather seems to be depressed. She feels she has let everyone down, and has an unhealthy amount of guilt. The last Day "Dr. Forseit" Heather has played a key role in helping, and encouraging others in their recovery. She has been a model patient. She will be missed.
I continue to stay in touch with the staff at RIW to this day, and can say that my new career choice was influenced by this program. I am studying to be a chemical dependency counselor to help pain patients - as most at some point will become addicted to pain medication. I try to keep up with my home therapy as much as possible, but I would be lying if I said my pain is gone. What I can say - is although I chose not to have the surgery for now - I feel I can live with my disability, and be a functioning, and contributing person in our society - which is enough for me.
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